Concerning my wife, Kristina –

To those who knew Kristina best, and even to those who only briefly had the privilege of her friendship, what follows about her is already well known. Even so, I put these words down on paper – as my own memorial to the beautiful, little girl who least deserved her own fate, yet changed so much for the better the fate of so many others.

She was not perfect, and insisted she not be remembered as such. But in my eyes at least, she didn’t seem all that far off. To begin with, she had such a beauty about her, with a razor sharp intelligence and an engaging personality by which she at once endeared the doctors and medical staff who cared for her. But to her friends and family she was something far more – a simple girl with a propensity to love and to be loved; intensely devoted to her loved ones and someone who, in her own words, valued “the quality of a friendship, not the quantity of friendships.” Although smart enough to be proficient in any career she chose, she wanted nothing more than to be a stay-at-home mom, taking care of her family with the tenderness that came so naturally to her.

To me, she was everything one could hope for in a wife. Affectionate in her manners, encouraging to me in my career, and she even voluntarily watched football with me on Saturdays and Sundays! And seldom did she ask for very much in return. Always I would wonder when the shoe would drop – we had so much fun together and were so deeply devoted to each other. Each and every day, she made it so very easy to reciprocate the love with which she showered upon me. More than anything, she was my best friend and constant companion. Her parting will create a void I cannot imagine could ever be filled.

As a mother, she was to Ethan what no other person on earth could substitute for. The naturalness and grace with which she assumed motherhood showed that being a mommy wasn’t just what she had always wanted to become; it was what God had always intended for her to become. And later on, when her illness began to overtake her, even still she loved and cared for Ethan with a mighty effort against the fatigue – a more courageous and true love I have never seen.

Her worthy fight against this terrible cancer was always with resolve and dignity – and this fight was never for herself, but for those of us who loved her and depended upon her well-being. Even from the very first day, when she was diagnosed with cancer, she courageously chose a treatment path that would forever mar her innocent beauty rather than choose the less effective choice though it might preserve her physical appearance. She chose to be with us, or die trying. Nothing less would have ever satisfied her. No matter what disappointments we encountered on our journey, she would take on the next treatment with her sleeves rolled up and her head held high. A woman recently approached us at church and told us how she had watched the passion with which Kristina had worshiped at a previous service. She then told us how Kristina had inspired such great courage when the woman found out a week later that her husband had cancer. We’ve heard so many stories like this. The Bloomington newspaper even had an editorial describing the strength with which Kristina carried herself and cared for her family, as seen by a perfect stranger. The number of people Kristina has touched, truly touched, is humbling.

As for those of us left behind, we who must now endure this much lessened world without the delight of Kristina still amongst us, we can only do as she did and cling to the hope of reunion promised by our almighty and ever-loving God. Without His loving attendance to support us, we cannot hope for this. With His loving attendance, we cannot hope for less.

And so I close, knowing that I might only be triumphant over the grief that now threatens to overwhelm me by satisfying myself hereafter with the assurance that now she truly is perfect. In a perfect body, at perfect peace, in a perfect world. Waiting, but a short while longer, for those of us who loved her to join with her in Paradise, never again to be parted.